Let's see, where did I leave off the Tale of the Very
Fun Wedding? Ah yes, Kate was running for her life.
It sounds so exciting that way!
The pictures had been taken, or at least the ones that
we were required for so my folks and Kate and I went
back over to the car since we were all freezing and it
was still raining. As I said in the last post Kate and I
almost snacked on some Jesus crackers at the wedding
but thought that maybe that wouldn't be the best thing
due to that whole eternal damnation thing, so we were
starving. Lucky for us my folks still had a few sandwiches
left from their drive up to Vermont. They were just ham
sandwiches and had been sitting in bags in a cooler full of
water for a few days but I swear to God I have never tasted
anything so good in all my life. I think I may have swallowed
mine whole.
After our glorious snack, we drove back to the B&B where
the reception was taking place. My Mom wanted to see our
room, since we were not in the main house, so Kate and I ran
back over first to quickly stash the bottle of vodka that we had
brought just in case of emergencies, you know, to disinfect
things (wink wink). Having hidden the hooch and shown Mom
the room we headed over to the main house where a cocktail
hour was under way.
I had met one of my brother's friends at the wedding, I think
his name was Ellery. He was a very nice guy and wasted no
time in coming over to get me out of the comer I was hiding in
to meet the rest of Timmy's friends. I was introduced to about
ten of his friends from New York, all at once, with them
surrounding me in a circle. I felt more than a little in over my
head since I had never met anyone that Tim knew at all let
alone a group of his ten closest friends. I felt like I was getting
away with something, like I had snuck past the guards while
they weren't looking. I mean I don't really know anything about
my brother. I know what he looks like, where he works, that he
has five cats and two dogs, that's about it. As far as actually
knowing anything real about him this was the closest I was going
to get. Well, I didn't really learn anything. I was nervous first of
all because I am sure they would tell Tim what they thought of me
and as far as I know he still thinks I'm the silly kid that wouldn't
let him finish his homework. Chugging the vodka and cranberry I
had helped with the nerves but there were so many of them that I
couldn't really ask anything, and my Mom didn't want a scene so I
couldn't bring up the fact that he pretty much isn't a part of the
family so instead we all stood there discussing the Bachelor and
the Apprentice. Yup, I know his friends like reality TV.
I guess it's a place to start.
The DJ announced that the toast was going to take place
so everyone went to their tables. Kate and I were seated with my
folks and two of Timmy's friends, Ellery and Phyllis. Another of
Timmy's friends, not the best man, got up to give the toast. I am
horrible with names so I can't remember who gave the speech but
it was a lovely speech about what a wonderful and supportive
friend Tim was.
Hearing her speech and meeting his friends really made me wonder.
I think that a big measure of a person is the friends one has, so if
he was good friends with these very open, welcoming, seemingly
normal people, then he really couldn't be the jerk that I thought he
was. He must have his reasons that he cut himself off from the
family. I guess it gave me hope.
After the speech the dances followed. The bride and groom
danced to a lovely Mary Chapin Carpenter song. The bride and
her dad danced to the most awful song ever recorded, Butterfly
Kisses. Then it was time for my Mom and Tim to dance. The song
was Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World, a great song. At
this point, everything hit me at once. I was happy for Tim and Lisa
and glad that he had found someone that he wanted to spend his life
with but at the same time I was angry that we were such a peripheral
part of things, that my Mom was out there dancing with a son she
didn't know, and that I could never have that. I know it's a selfish
reaction to have at my brother's wedding but I just couldn't help but
paint a picture of my own wedding and know what would be lacking.
I wasn't really prepared for that when I went up there, I knew there
would be awkward family stuff as there always is, but I wasn't ready.
Luckily I didn't dwell on what was going on and just took some
pictures. I know what people say, you never know what will happen
in the future, which is true, I don't, but there are certain things that
just don't change in people.
After the dances it was time to eat, thank God. Our table was on the
far end of the room from the kitchen so I think they served us first.
Tim and Lisa were at a table of their own right next to us. It is now
about seven o'clock and I have still NOT MET THE BRIDE. She came
over to our table and introduced herself saying that she was glad to
finally meet me. I congratulated her and said it was good to meet her
and that was it, they were off to the next table. Turns out meeting a
sister-in-law isn't really very momentous.
After dinner and the cake (which was raspberry and chocolate, yum)
the DJ switched up the music from the jazz he was playing during
dinner to your typical wedding dance music, you know, the Macarena,
some Abba, a little bit of the 80's. I avoided it as long as I could but
Kate and my Mom were out there dancing and I was eventually
dragged up there. It's never as bad as I think it's going to be. All of
Tim's friends were out there (some a little bit happy from the shots
that we had which was weird in and of itself, doing a shot with my
brother, his wife and their friends) with him and Lisa and her family.
I think the highlight of the evening was getting down to YMCA next
to my Mom, I think that Kate and I were the only ones that really got
the irony of that situation.
In the middle of Come On Ride the Train Lisa came over to me and
Kate and shouted that she had been wanting to talk to us. She led
us over away from the speakers to chat. She asked me what I did for
a living and where Kate and I lived in Boston. I was kind of surprised
when she said that Tim is actually a very caring guy but you only see
that layer of him after a lot of work. She told me that she pestered
him last year when he came up to run the Boston marathon to call
me, but he wouldn't. That he said he didn't know what to say. She
said that she really wanted to meet up and get to know me, that she
would make him call next time.
Later that evening, Kate and I headed back to our room and broke
out the vodka. You really need something like that when you are
going to rehash an event like this. It was pretty sad since it was
warm. And we had no mixer. And no ice. Or cups. So I sat in the
hammock, she sat in the chair next to me and we passed the bottle
back and forth taking sips. The moon was out on the lake and it was
chilly but not cold. I reached over to the chair, and I as put my hand
down to push off the chair to rock the hammock, I put my hand on
hers instead. Hehehe, she looked over and said "What are you
doing?". I wish I could recreate the tone there but there is just no
way, let's just say that I scared the hell out of her. I think she
thought I was putting the moves on her, that or my hand was made
of acid, I'm not sure, either way a new joke was born, let it now be
beaten to death!
All in all, I am very glad that I went. I meant to go as a support to my
parents, to see Tim get married, to meet the new sister-in-law. I
didn't expect there to be any change in the status quo that has been
going on since Tim graduated college. I thought I wouldn't really like
Lisa, or his friends and that it would all turn out to be just another
crazy story about my "phantom" brother. Thankfully, I was wrong.
The fact that there is a chance that things might change is amazing.
They might not always be these shadowy extensions of my family that
are never heard from. In the mean time I already have great people
in my life. I was reminded again what an awesome friend Kate is
when she made sure to give Lisa my phone numbers before we left.
There would have been a lot less hysterical laughing if she wasn't up
there with me. I'll have to prebook her for the next brother's
wedding, whenever that is. Hopefully the next one won't be themed
though, I don't think any of us could handle a Klingon wedding.
